
If you’re working diligently on a search for your egg donor, sperm donor or surrogate, have you taken some time to stop and assess your mental health? The additional stress of a journey through third party fertility is a winding path full of unknowns and financial pressures. No matter the path forward, it is likely to be filled with challenges, setbacks, and unexpected twists and turns. This is hard - on you. You will benefit from taking care of your precious Self.
As you prepare for your parenting journey, learning to practice and prioritize self-care will be vital now and forever. It is easy to forget yourself when you are so focused on another, your future baby and the path to find your way.
If you can learn to schedule self-care now, while you are focused on the steps to parenthood, it may be easier to continue this once you have your child. For some, scheduling an actual block of time on your calendar, an appointment for self care, can help you remember this important step in the process. Some ideas for self care are:
A guided meditation on YouTube. These can range from a few minutes to an hour depending on the amount of time you have and your personal needs. People often prefer to start meditating in smaller bits of time, but find it easier to spend a longer amount of time as they get better at meditating.
A one hour massage is often a way to help your mind take a pause from the challenges of the fertility journey.
A yoga class
A Reiki session
Maybe it’s a relaxing bath with some lavender essential oils or just some time alone in your favorite comfy spot with a good book.
Whatever works best for you, these brief yet key moments can help to clear your head, quiet your heart, and calm your worries. Take these times to help give you a new perspective on anything that you are currently tackling.
If you notice especially high anxiety, obsessive worrying about the “what if’s” on the journey, or struggles to agree with your partner during steps of the process, you may want to consider reaching out to a professional for counseling or holistic coaching. Often intended parents find this can help to process what can seem to be overwhelming issues that may simply need some space. If you have suffered loss as many have, there is a real grief process you will pass through that is often overlooked in the busy-ness of the search and journey forward. It is important to allow the grief to be seen, heard and felt, so that ultimately, the acceptance you come to allows the door of the journey to open more widely.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by the searching process and would like a helping hand, please reach out to me for a free consultation today. I am heart based and able to customize a search to fit your unique wishes and wants. I would love the chance to honor your journey and wish you the joy that you deserve in the process!
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